Derek Silvers said, during one of his presentations on TED, that it takes only “one follower to transform a lone nut into a leader.” He has a very valid point. He goes on to point out that the real leader is that first follower, the lone nut is the innovator.

I came across that clip while taking (yet another) course on Alison. If you don’t know Alison, you should meet (Alison.com). It is a multinational site designed to provide free and verifiable education to common standards. The one I was perusing was Bill Liao’s course on the Stone Soup Way, which is about building business and social enterprise. So far I am liking it and finding it very helpful. Perhaps what is most helpful is the concept of the “heated holistic present.”

Bill Liao basically says that most people fail at what they set out to do because they look to their past too much to learn. The past sets up a preconceived notion of the future. It is the person who can clearly imagine the future they want that will allow them to create their present. The past then becomes a record of where you have been, but not an indicator of where you will go. I find that the concept has a certain ring of truth about it. I have encountered a fair amount of people who not only define their own futures according to their pasts but also, will seek to define yours that way to know that it is not a commonly held concept.

I have talked about all the studies that have debunked the social myth that our pasts predict our behavior (from our past actions to past experiences – ie the once abused will abuse cycle) and how even though debunked, the majority of people cling to them as a means of predicting the future. But you can’t predict the future because it does not exist. To attempt to predict it is a waste of time and energy and most likely, you will be wrong. Unless, of course, there are reasons or catalysts (you, others) that ensure the prediction comes true. It is, of course, easier to fulfill an expectation or prediction because it absolves you of the responsibility for creation. A person who imagines their future is responsible for creating themselves in the present.

Another way to think of it harks back to Fromm’s concept that our society has become necrophiliac. We participate more with the dead (the past) then the living (the present) and the possible (the future). Back to Silvers, the innovator – the nut – is someone who can imagine the future but isn’t quite rooted in the living yet. That takes the first follower, the one who is living but can’t solidly imagine a different future – but will recognize a good one when they see it and risk supporting it. The next layer that comes, the other followers are people who need to see in the present that the venture is not rejected or ridiculed – it is then validated as being worthy of having a past, a point of origin and they jump on board.

The nut and the first follower are equals. The innovator and the leader cannot function without each other. One can imagine, but not create. The other can create but not imagine. Even when the role is fulfilled by one person, they will shift between those two roles (and get rather burnt, I imagine).

Yesterday, I played Go with someone much, much better than me who (after winning), walked me through several approaches of the game. I learned more in a ten minute conversation with him then in all the playing and reading I have done over the past few months.  I immediately went online this morning to one of the Go problem sites and “got” the problems. Not that I could solve them yet, but I began to see the order and reason of the moves.

I had my writer’s group yesterday and I had a new poem submitted that they liked so much one of the women launched into a rewrite of it. To me, that is one of the highest compliments – to have someone so moved by a piece they want to write it in their own language.

Ok…back to the ocean, the small room, the draft but hopefully…not Tony Bennett.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

I had written a few weeks ago about Occupy Providence and there offer that they would vacate Burnside Park if the city ponied up a day shelter for the homeless. I did have a touch of pride that they had pulled together a succinct demand. I was prouder still of the Mayor’s response which was to say that there were places for the homeless to go during the day and that yes, they needed more and better but that the city would not be blackmailed into rushing into something not planned well. Because blackmail it was. Not to mention, I suspect, an attempt at Occupy PVD to redeem their reputation after the repeated bad behavior of the group towards the homeless. None of this changes the other question about how, when the homeless had a tent city on unused, public land the state moved so fast with a court decision about the illegality of camping on public grounds and evicted them and that ruling seems to have been set aside for the tent city in the public park.

Today, I had to go downtown to the main bus depot to catch my ride. The depot is right next to where Occupy has set up. They have decorated the fence with a variety of signs with slogans etc. Today, I noticed a new one. A banner actually, set up near one of the park’s entrances, painted on a bed sheet and the message on the banner made me see red.

The banner read, “Welcome to the People’s Park! Love, Occupy PVD!”

My immediate reaction was, “It’s not the People’s Park, it’s Burnside Park and up until Occupy moved in, people used it freely and often and it was a long time gathering spot and safe place for the homeless. Now, people don’t use it because it is not theirs anymore, its trashed, you have cost the city $10,000 (and probably more in unseen budget costs) that will effect someone in need and the homeless have been driven out. “

People’s Park my ass. The arrogance. The entitlement. The absolute lack of empathy or consideration of any part of the community beyond themselves has just really gotten to me.

There is a part of me that is contemplating having a small sign making party with like minded friends and posting our signs right next to the Occupy one’s on that fence that say “Everybody is somebody’s 1%.” I wonder how long the signs would stay up before Occupier’s took them down from the fence surrounding the “people’s park.”

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved. 

First, I was a man, and now, I am black

Spam is a funny thing. It reveals quite a bit about how things really work on the Internet. For months I have been receiving lots of spam about Viagra and ummmmm…personal growth. Obviously, somehow I have landed on a “of-interest-to-men” spam list. Then, the other day, all of that was gone and instead I had message after message regarding “Meet Hot Black Singles!” and “Successful Black Women are looking for you,” plus quite a few tips on cosmetically covering my keloid scars.

Now, I had to sit and think about how I had switched identity on the spam lists and realized that just a few days prior I had a few exchanges on Google plus with two African-American writers (conservative writers, both are very good  - Shirley Husar and JC Kendall) but haven’t been on much otherwise due to deadlines and presto! I am now an African-American Male.

Think about the kind of identity crisis this could cause. Think about what it says about how social media is actually used. It is important that you spend a little time contemplating how these services can be free. The ads we see are the least of the ways that revenue is generated. The issue is not just about how your information is used, but every click and stroke you make is analyzed for the purpose of selling you product.

Recently, I have begun to learn more about something called Big Mind. To quote Wikipedia (because I am feeling slightly lazy today)

“(Big Mind is )used particularly within the Zen tradition, the term Big Mind can have different meanings in different contexts, even within Buddhism. Japanese Soto Zen founder Dōgen Zenji uses the phrase in hisTenzo Kyōkun (Instructions to the Chief Cook);  as does 20th c. Zen master Shunryu Suzuki in talks collected in the book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind. "Big Mind" indicates an awareness of reality that transcends the merely personal, or wholly subjective.

The "Big Mind Process" is a specific technique developed by Zen teacher Dennis Merzel that merges Western psychological techniques (specifically Voice Dialogue therapy) with Buddhist conceptions of self and mind.”

I am learning about it through personal application (read – I found a new therapist and this is their approach) and also in an outward application (read – the new therapist is also directing me to sources to learn how it is done). It is a fascinating process and one of the few that has the effect of immediately changing how you think and act. Some of the change is simply from an increased awareness, but with any type of shift in awareness – one begins to make different choices in their actions.

What I keep meaning to blog about (and started to a week ago) is the awareness I have of the shift in my writing. I have gone on and on for years that there are two kinds of poetry – the personal and the universal. The personal is more about a private emoting, the universal is about an identification of shared emotions/events. A lot of poetry contains elements of both. There is a third type, but I can’t stand it so am not even going to give it space.

Universal poetry comes from the poet writing in service to the community. In other words, they are an artisan and not an artist (assigning to artist the modern meaning of ‘outside the norm’). The artisan is the craftsmen (in any media) who translates or captures meaning within the community. They are the great masters who painted or sculpted for religion. The writers who wrote to educate or explore meaning within a larger context then their own lives. I think truly, the reason why some artists have remained in the public eye and contemporary context even though they may have been dead for hundreds of years is that when you are involved in serving meaning within the community, you are creating works that speak to large groups of strangers who all are connected by the human condition.

I have watched my writing begin to transition out of the personal, dabble into the universal and then…suddenly, begin to exist in a role in which it is a tool of something else. I have mentioned how I have been under the impression I haven’t been writing much poetry at all and then I noticed all I have been doing is writing poetry. Only instead of writing something that I put out in a book or on the web. These poems are being put into use – they are the prayers of Grace Independent, the hypnosis scripts I use with clients, the meditations that I am beginning to teach – and I don’t feel like I am writing poetry because suddenly, the words are not separate from the life. The work I have done before has been separate – separate in the sense that yes, people can relate to it and perhaps find themselves within it but only by suspending their lives for that moment. Just as the creation of the work was a suspension of mine. If that makes sense. Somehow all of this relates to Big Mind, I think it is in using awareness to see how things may adapt, heal and have purpose.

And I think that is one of the reasons I have had a sort of stumbling with the city of love. The city needs a purpose to be a part of to continue on. That realization makes me happy. Like I have to go find a job for the poem.

Now I have gotten totally distracted.

But I am off to go see The Artist again.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

I am sitting in a café (not ‘the café’) but my “I have someplace nearby to go and the other one is too far away” backup café. It has been a day of opportunity, cold weather, long walks, feeling highly competent, skilled and experienced and then immediately making a horse’s ass out of myself – so in other words…a good balanced day. One that is far from over.

So here I sit waiting until it is time for me to leave and go to my next appointment and I had the best of intentions for getting some work done but instead…I have eaten grilled cheese, sipped coffee and poked around on the Internet while listening to Gamma Binaural Beats and just…goofed around. I finally had to admit that was what I was doing (and not preparing for a heavy bout of concentration and work) because over the Gamma-Binaural-Brain-Food-to-Increase-Concentration-and-General-Awesomeness blasting in my ears, I could hear the distinct opening notes of the Kinks singing Lola. I turned off the brain food, checked the weather and ordered a double espresso. Somedays you need an extended period of just goofing off.

Today I learned that there are certain medical conditions that require a hospital bed to be alarmed so if the patient opts to radically shift their position (as in get out of bed) someone is alerted…alerted by what sounds exactly like the siren effect in discos. I learned this because the person in question was resting happily in a recliner and I was sitting nearby, once again attempting to get work done. I opened my laptop and put it on the bed (alerting the alarm to the presence of weight) and when it had finished booting up, I picked the laptop up off the bed and suddenly sirens were wailing and tweeting. I found the alarm and turned it off, puzzled as what it meant. The patient was now awake (no surprise there) but soon fell back asleep. I went to get something so I….put the laptop on the bed again, then returned and picked it up off the bed and triggered the sirens again. The poor patient was snapping at me “for Christ sake, squeeze the reset button.” I was panicking, not sure if it meant the batteries were going in the alarm or if it was somehow magically hooked up to the patient and something was going wrong that I didn’t know about. In a panic, I called the home office and as soon as the receptionist heard the alarm went off she panicked and patched me through to a nurse. The nurse was the essence of grace under pressure. She was in crisis mode until I stopped her and said, “But the patient isn’t in the bed, he is in the chair.” There was a long pause before she asked, “What did you do to the bed?” And I suddenly had one of those flashes of insight…revelation…ephiphany…and groaned, “Oh no, I put my laptop on it.” And the nurse burst out laughing.

It’s funny what happens when you let it be ok when things go wrong.

I remember when I started all of that aspect of my life I was so serious. So concerned that I was 100% on top of things and responsive. Now, I realize that no one can be that way 100% of the time. Sometimes all you can do is be there, whether you are doing it right or not.

OMG…ok…a) I downgraded my cell phone as far as I could go to break my txting obsession. It has worked but now people think I am really mentally challenged when it comes to replying to them because I can’t figure out where the punctuation marks and symbols are. 2) the café I am in was in the process of hanging paintings from a kid’s class that were done with acrylic on canvas board. The teacher hung them with tape. As the night gets colder and the heat gets higher, the tape is drying out and everyone in the café is getting bombed by dropping paintings.

And c) the funniest thing I have heard all day and the sign that I should just stop writing and post this is Obama did some skit or something last night where he challenged Betty White to produce her birth certificate.

Onward and upward.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

I run. I walk. I bike. If…while running, walking or biking…I fall down and go BOOM (more accurately BOOM-SKID-BOUNCE) it occurs in a crosswalk.

Why? Try walking across one when it is raining. The paint they use, at least in this state, that is raised and reflective is also slicker than owl sh*t. It is not too safe on a dry day either. Why oh why, in the name of pedestrian safety, they use paint like this is beyond me. There…that is my pet peeve for the day. I walk outside the crosswalk.

I have been engaged in a very strange and illuminating discussion of late about the concept of success, fulfillment, happiness and legacy. Usually, when I have these types of discussions it is very much a mental exercise – most of what is discussed is theoretical. Perhaps, we may know that doing what makes you feel fulfillment brings happiness and happiness is more important than success but living that is a different matter. Tied up is the separation of the idea of success from happiness and then further complicating the issue is how and where the concept of legacy comes in.

I am 43 years old. And I have been shifting steadily over the past three years in what I view as success and legacy for myself. I am not talking about defining it as a global concept, but sitting and examining the personal definition that we each have of what it means to us to be successful. Have you ever really thought about that? I mean, what does it look like to you? What comes with it? Does it provide anything? How is it reflected in the rest of your life – in your degree of happiness, your sense of fulfillment and purpose and – da da dum – how does it define the type of legacy you will leave?

The idea of legacy is difficult for many people to think about because in order to recognize the shift towards legacy in your psyche it means that you must also acknowledge your mortality. We sort of do a shimmy-shift and have defined legacy as the things we leave behind. This allows us to keep producing, acquiring and making until the moment we die – in effect, we get to distract ourselves from accepting, internalizing and reconciling our mortality because we continue to live in in a constant building and acquiring mode. Legacy, as Stephen Covey so eloquently defined, “fulfills our spiritual need to have a sense of meaning, purpose, personal congruence and contribution.” Erickson defines the psychosocial development stage of Legacy centers on the question, “Can I make my life count?” It is slightly embarrassing for me to be such a cliché, but the Legacy stage hits (not always but often) between the ages of 40 and 65, and here I am 43 and full in it.

If you combine Covey and Erickson, you get a very defined question that begins to illuminate what is popularly known as the “mid-life crisis.” The question becomes:

“Can I make my life count by understanding and committing to my sense of purpose, gaining understanding of my meaning, developing personal congruence and finding a way to contribute to life?”

The stereotypical mid-life crisis has people throwing away years of work and relationships and either going backwards to emulate youth (escaping Legacy) or launching themselves on a vague path of discovery that more often than not, leads them to become serial adopters of theories that promise to explain life and give them place and purpose. I wish I could say that there is one way above all others that reveals the answers to the questions posed when you consider your legacy, but there isn’t.

Legacy unfolds much the same way faith does. In the beginning, faith is wonderful and easy. There is structure, ritual, and answers – there is security in faith and faith is defined by how you experience it. As you grow spiritually, you begin to experience a deepening of faith  and a rising questioning of the easy answers and structures of ritual, – this stage demands you give up the safety of symbols and rituals and stand within the unknowing without promise you will be moved to a place of wisdom and understanding. That phase often causes people to abandon their faiths – to reject the religions they once participated in so zealously as being hypocritical and false, to come to believe that even considering faith is an example of willful delusion. Should they make it through this “dark night of the soul,” they enter into a new phase – one in which they stand within faith, not as its center and definer, but as a part of its life. Your experience is accepted as limited and you become open to being a part of something larger, something you are not in control of, something that you do not define.

The concept of Legacy is exactly like that. Legacy is not something that you are in control of nor do you define it. Leaving a building with your name on it or thousands of dollars to someone is not a Legacy. A legacy is made from your contribution to something much larger than you could ever understand its purpose and meaning. But you have come to understand your own, your own small corner of time. Success redefines itself as fulfilling your purpose, understanding your meaning, becoming congruent (the process of having reconciled all of you into one), discovering the best way for you to contribute to what it is all of life shares, and that we can never define.

Ok…that is part one, I am still trying to get to what I wanted to write about a few days ago but this is getting to be a rather long one today and I have got to get back to work…so consider tomorrow’s post part II.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

Now it is 9 degrees and I have to leave the house soon. I have given up all pretense of looking businesslike, professional or fashionable and instead am going for the “I may look crazy but I am warm” style.

Yesterday, while traveling on the bus, we stopped to pick up a young (20) woman who had been waiting out in the cold for an hour. She had a nuclear meltdown as she got on the bus and discovered that the driver could not make change for a 5 except to give her a change card. She burst out hysterically crying and said that she had worked overnight and overtime which is why she had to wait an hour for the bus and only needed the one way ticket and couldn’t use the change card and had been out in the cold for so long her tears were frozen. A man on the bus was able to make change for her and she got on. She got on her iPhone and called her BFF and cried about being cold and the mean driver who wouldn’t just let her on and demanded exact change.

This young girl, mind you, went to work when it was 13 degrees out. Had no hat, gloves etc and so forth. Was dressed in the latest sleek 20 something wear and would not put her hood up even because of her hair. Sympathy was fast fleeing into the cold air. She went on and on about how no one in her family would give her a ride and she was saving for a car and just started working. An older man tried to comfort her and gave her addresses of places to go to get help with housing etc and pointed out that everyone on the bus was making it without a car and perhaps she should focus on building up the rest of her life first. Not going to happen. It was an interesting scene to watch unfold. And I noticed that we all (bundled like fools) started looking around and noticed that the majority of people 25 and younger were so not prepared for the weather. Which is kind of important when you consider busses can be a bit unreliable and chances are, you will wind up waiting.

It reminded me of passing the Occupy Providence encampment and noticing that there tents were so not prepared in the least for cold weather. Then again, I found out that the OP people tend to go back home in cold weather and just leave the tents there or stay on a rotating basis only. It would be easy to say “oh this new generation, so unprepared – so out of touch – so entitled.” But children learn how to prepare themselves and think ahead from the families they were raised in (usually but not always). Whether or not, when they are on their own, they still use what they are taught is another thing.

But, it brings up the issue with the Marines who urinated on the corpses. I have seen both sides of the argument – one in which people want them to be excused because they are young and dumb and overwhelmed; and the other where they are considered wholly responsible for upholding the Geneva Convention because that is what a Marine is about.

Is any side right?

Here was my two cents on g+ in response to a back and forth between two gentlemen, each holding the opposite opinion:

” Funny, I agree with both of you even though I can see where both of you don't agree, but I think that holds part of the issue. On the one hand, there is no excuse - no justification and nothing that can be said to diminish the criminality and responsibility of those soldiers. They are trained as to what is the responsibility and legality of their actions in combat. I am a vet, I had the same training and was in a combat area, as an MP we preceded the Marines, male and female. A part of maintaining your sanity in those situations is holding onto the rules that protect your human dignity and integrity. On the other hand, one of the real issues that is not addressed is the reason why soldiers are so young. It has nothing to do with being physically fit, it has to do with being morally undeveloped and malleable to accept that murder is viable if sanctioned and placing yourself in harm's way the most honorable and intelligent choice of all . Soldiers are trained that enemy combatants are subhuman even as they are trained to protect and provide for them as prisoners. If they are not prisoners though, they are in a different category altogether. A child who has never had the experience of independence from authority and from having a caretaker (a provider of food, shelter and purpose) is not morally mature enough to be able to reconcile actions that violate the innate drive to protect their life. After constantly choosing to put themselves in harm's way they will develop coping skills that can take a thousand different forms - some good and some not. We don't address this issue, instead relying on a wait and see approach to see who gets psychologically damaged and send them to the VA. Punish the soldiers? Yes, but don't forget to punish the others who were accomplices to the crime - and that is just about everyone.”

Funny, this was not at all the blog I thought I would be writing this morning.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

It is going to be 4 degrees tonight. Today, it barely got above a balmy 21. Of course, it will steadily rise back into the forties by the end of the week. I spent a large part of my day wandering around wearing: 2 pairs of socks, 3 layers of pants (2 long underwear and jeans), 4 shirts, a winter jacket, a knee length leather jacket over that, a hat, gloves and wrap around glasses. The bus, needless to say, could only get me within a mile and a half of where I was going. It was 11 degrees when I left the house.

For whatever reason, whenever it dips below 15 I suddenly have an appointment before 11am. Which means I get the full brunt of the cold. If it is above 15, I never have a reason to leave the house till noon or later when it has warmed up even more. I think the Angels are messing with me.

The mad kitten is in full happy hibernation. I have yet to figure out how she knows that when I enter the house with three identical plastic shopping bags, that one of them is filled with toys for her. She merrily attacked me last night and had removed all the feathers from all the toys I got on clearance at PetCo in about an hour. Then she snacked and passed out again until the morning.

Once again, I was struck at my skewed vision of what I am doing in my life right now. Once again, I was berating myself for not working on a poem that I need to write (on a deadline) and once again, I finally noticed that the thing I have been caught up with is actually a….poem. I am slowly learning to validate and recognize that I seem to have shifted in my life from someone who writes poetry often, to someone for whom poetry is in everything I do. In this case, I am creating a custom hypnosis script and when I got to the main part – it is a poem. When I write for Grace – it is a poem. When I write poetry for myself – it is a poem. When I do some of the other things that are becoming my “business” in life…they are all rooted in poetry that I have to write for them. It is interesting this transition. Interesting too how hard it is for me to recognize the poems.

I am having bird issues again. The other night I was walking back from downtown along one of the oldest streets in Providence, the sun was just going down so it was kind of that strange half-light where everything stands out sharply – but the detail is hard to see. I heard this sound, like a rushing and then the familiar caws. Looking up I saw hundreds of crows flying in a circular pattern over the Jencks House on Benefit Street. The Jencks house was built in 1774 and the Jencks in question are purported to be a part of the group of first patriots in the nation, the ones who burned the HSS Gaspee. The murder of crows filled the three largest trees around the house and they alternated landing and then taking off and flying in a circular pattern over the property and taking up roost again. I stopped and watched them for a bit. There is something about these massive murders of crows that fits Providence so well. After all, they are – cross-culturally, seen as the Divine Messengers of Providence. What I did not know is that they are considered to be solar animals and represent the creative principal. I have an interest in crows because if you remember, it was around the same time last year I saw the thousand crows streaming over the city. Things like that kind of stick in your mind.

Then walking downtown the next day, a flock of hundreds of pigeons came up behind me and flew over me thickly – I mean they were arranged in a block from a foot off the ground to about 12 feet above. They landed and refused to move when I was trying to walk through. So, I walked in the gutter while they did their thing.

There is something uniquely striking about a large amount of birds. Some of the most striking internal memories I have all stem from my encounters with mass amounts of birds. The thousands of starlings I saw lining the wires as I drove out of Providence so many years ago. The hundreds of swans I surprised in a lagoon once.

Something about them that moves me out of the present and into a kind of space between. The space where the stories live that become poems that have now become life. Funny, how the act of writing used to involve all these special preparations and was so separate from the rest of my life. If I was writing, it meant I was withdrawing from whatever was around me to find that silence, that sacred space. And now? I think my life is evolving to become that space and there is no withdrawing, no special ritual, no separation.

If you went looking for the Sunday Sermon for Grace Independent you probably witnessed it steadily shifting further and further into the day before finally coming to rest on Monday night at 9pm. That is temporary. I have a commitment on Sunday for the next few weeks that will keep me wandering around in the cold, wearing everything I own and encountering large amounts of birds. I am starting a new bi-weekly broadcast on the Grace Independent channel called “Healing Grace.” It will be a ½ hour – 40 minute show that simply examines all the different methods and means of healing – physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I’ll cover alternative and mainstream therapies, clinical studies and anecdotal accounts. Given my own experiences and the work I am getting deeper into doing, I have learned the importance of becoming informed.

Now…off for coffee, to harass MK and maybe…get some work done. It will probably have meter and feet but I will call it work and bemoan my lack of writing poetry still.

: )

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

Last night, I went to see that new movie “The Artist” with a friend. If you don’t know what I am talking about you should watch the preview (http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi729455897/) it is basically a silent movie.

Now, a bit about my history with movies. With the exception of my blip trip at someone’s request (for their birthday) to go to Harry Potter at the Imax, I have not seen a movie trailer that inspired me enough to go pay full price to see it in a theater in almost 7 years. Actually no, it’s been 5 years. The last movie that inspired me to that extent was 300 (and boy, was that worth it). I watch a fair amount of movies of all different types but I tend to wait until they are free on youtube or available for a dollar somewhere. To put it politely, there are not very many good movies made – they all seem to be more about the personalities, the special effects, or the extent they can create shocking moments of one kind or another – the art of telling a captivating story is just lost.

So then, I started reading about the controversy over Uggie the Dog in the Artist. The dog in question has renewed the debate over whether or not animals should be awarded Oscars. So then I read a bit about the movie – a silent movie in this day and age? What are they, nuts? Or worse, it is going to be some obtuse arty endeavor that just gives you brain strain to watch. The trailer looked good, kind of cheesy – she-uses him to climb to fame – kind of story but the music was good and I decided to go.

OMG.

The trailer in no way represents what the story is about or how amazing this film is. I have not been to a film that absolutely grabbed you, pulled you in and took you on such a wild ride of emotions. The whole audience was on the same page. Which was amazing…it’s a silent movie – complete with the text cards – and half of the dialogue you never see the text for, but you get every nuance of every conversation. I don’t want to spoil it so suffice it to say – go see it, if you can – go with someone because you need someone to punch in the arm and go “I can’t believe he is going to be such an ass!” And the climatic scene towards the end? You need someone to hold on to.

My friend and I were talking about what current actors and actresses (of the Hollywood variety) we thought would be capable of doing what the heroine in this movie (played by Berenice Bejo) did. She had several scenes in which she walked across the screen and everyone got absolutely everything going on with the character. There was no question and no misinterpretation. We came up with one – Glenn Close (ignoring the new movie she is in, but you know it was one of those personal projects).

The capacity to express emotion and thought in silence and without gesture is a very, very rare thing –sort of, regular people do it all the time. The problem is, will anyone notice? Will they notice their own expressions?

I found this recently and am reposting it. It is from an excellent book, Emotional Genius: How Emotions Can Save Your Life by Karla McLaren. If I was an actor, I would read this list as a way of finding my motivation within a character. As a person, I read it and go “Oh…that makes sense.” And am reminding to remember these things as I move through life.  

Anger (resentment, jealously, hatred, shame, guilt, boredom, apathy) tells us that proper boundaries should be  maintained or rebuilt. The questions to ask are: “What must be protected?” or “What must be restored?”

Guilt and Shame restore integrity, self-respect and proper behaviors. The questions to ask are: “Who has been hurt?” “What must be made right?”

Fear (worry, anxiety, panic, terror) is our vigor, intuition and our focused awareness of the world around us. The question to ask is: “What action must I take?”

Confusion (masking fear). By unmasking confusion you can revive your intuition and your instincts and discover what is preventing you from moving forward. Ask yourself whenever you are confused or indecisive about any choice: “What is my intention?” then ask “What action must I take?”

* Sadness restores flow, relaxation and rejuvenation to us. Both questions must be asked: “What must be released?” and “What must be restored?” (the second question removes the blockage).

Grief tells us the loss has already occurred. The question to ask is: “What must be mourned?”

Depression tells us that what we’re doing and where we’re going doesn’t match up with our inner desires. It is ingenious stagnation. The questions to ask: “Where has my energy gone?” and “Why did I send it away?”

Contentment tells us we’re living up to our own expectations, we’ve accomplished a goal and we’re aligned with our morals. Statement: “Thank you for renewing my faith in myself.“ Acknowledge this feeling and like all others let it go.

Happiness is anticipating a bright future. Thank your happiness for this up and celebratory feeling. Trust happiness to arise naturally as you continue to acknowledge, move through and act on the guidance of your emotions.

Joy comes forth when we feel communion and inspiration. Again acknowledge this feeling which shows you that you are honoring yourself. Continue to follow the light on your path and more joy is yours.

Exhilaration arises when we try to cement self in happiness. It is comprised on ungrounded, skittish, distracted and addictive behaviors. It is the flip side of depression and those same questions can be asked. Also ask yourself: “How can I get back in my body?”

RESOURCE: Emotional Genius: How Emotions Can Save Your Life by Karla McLaren

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

I think I am giving new meaning to the phrase “all over the place’ today. It has taken me a few days of a sinus headache, constantly blowing my nose, sneezing fits and being oddly exhausted to think that maybe…just maybe…I am fighting off the cold that is going around.  But I have been randomly eating copious amounts of chicken soup lately so it has never blossomed into something that I recognize as a cold. But here I am, looking with lust at my Allergy & Cold Benadryl and unable to consummate our relationship until after I do the Essay broadcast tonight (10 pm EST http://t.co/GVdzxzKv).

I talk a lot about motivation and goals in this blog and I just came across something I have never heard of before that I thought I would share. There is a new kind of motivational web service out that is proving to be highly successful in helping people achieve their short-term goals and, shows signs of creating the motivation to stay on track up to a year after the challenge.

They are called anti-charity sites. You register on the service (for free) and define the goal you want to achieve – say, walk 2 miles a day for 30 consecutive days. Then you return to the site each day to log whether or not you walked that particular day. Some sites require that a third party register (like a friend) and that they are the ones reporting on your actions to keep you more honest. Other sites allow you to self report. Now, you may have used something like this on other sites like, sparkpeople the exercise and nutrition site. They track your progress and award you spark points the more you stick to your plan and send you motivational messages etc to keep you going. The success of that kind of site is ok but not stellar.

Along comes the anti-charity site. Before you begin your goal program, an anti-charity site requires that you deposit a set amount of money with them. Let’s say a dollar a day for the length of time that you want to work on your goal. In this case you would deposit $30 because you want to walk for 30 days. Then, and here is what is making this approach so unbelievably successful – they ask you to select a charity that represents something that absolutely appalls your sensibilities. Let us say that our walker selects the “Puppy Killing for Fun” lobbying group who seeks legislation to force shelters to give up unwanted puppies for sport killing. Everyday our walker does their walk (with their five dogs they treat like their children) and reports it, the site refunds one dollar to them – immediately. Every time the walker fails to take their daily walk the site donates one of their dollars to the Puppy Killers.

Studies are showing that using this kind of motivation is incredibly successful and also sustains a person’s motivation beyond the time frame of the set goal. It is interesting to sit and think about it. And I swear, if I keep procrastinating and rationalizing my way out of some of my goals, I may just try it.

The thing is, what I think makes this so successful, is that it is not about getting the money back, it is about feeling empowered that you can actual do something to prevent something you perceive as being awful from being supported.  There are very few ways for people to feel they are being effective these days. While it may seem like it is a pseudo effectiveness, it is actually a very real one. Within the illusion of being effective lies the very real groundwork of change, achieving goals, growth and empowerment. As a person acquires these things they can become more effective in preventing things from happening that are abhorrent.

OMG…all I want is for that one sinus cavity to go on a cruise.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

This will be a short blog. I am exhausted. I have several projects that are requiring me to write on the fly for upwards of 10 hours a day and I am just burnt right now. I do have an ever growing list of topics I want to blog about, as soon as I pass the milestone tomorrow I can switch back to blogging in the morning.

I have been watching the primary feeds and it was just…frustrating to see the media releasing their projections before even a third of the districts had reported. Almost as disheartening as seeing the polling results and witnessing how many people were voting for candidates who had already bowed out of the race.

Back in the 80s there was a lot of noise made about how media projections, especially the ones made this early, have a direct impact on the outcome of the vote. There was talk about legislation being passed to block the media from reporting on the returns – mind you they could report the numbers but they were to be prohibited from editorializing on them. Needless to say that movement absolutely died out.

I wish that there was a movement to bring it back.  My god, our electoral process is so screwed up.

And the people voting for candidates who have withdrawn or write-ins for people who don’t even exist, what on Earth do they think they are accomplishing? That is not a protest, that is the height of apathy. That is even more of an abdication of responsibility than not voting at all.

No small wonder that I picked Erich Fromm’s work on “The Illusion of Individuality” to read tomorrow on Essay. It is from his book “Escape from Freedom.” The central idea of the book is that “if humanity cannot live with the dangers and responsibilities inherent in freedom, it will probably turn to authoritarianism…If the rise of democracy set some people free, at the same time it gave birth to a society in which the individual feels alienated and dehumanized.”

Tomorrow, 10pm EST on http://blogtalkradio.com/grace-independent. If you can’t listen live, go to the link later and listen to the archived recording.

Ugh…alright…I need sleep.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

(The following is the text for the homily broadcast this Sunday, January 8^th 2012 at 10am EST on http://blogtalkradio.com/grace-independent. You can listen to the service in its entirety by visiting the link or finding the Grace Independent podcast on iTunes.)

----

The Presidential election is underway and already we have seen the good, the bad, the ugly and the just plain strange in the Iowa Republican Caucus. Obama’s first term has provided the Democrats with an equal presentation of the same.

It does not matter what or who you support these days, there is no candidate that does not possess the core elements of hypocrisy, self-interest, a desire for power and who has made politics a career that has become the identifying qualities of politicians.. Whether the hypocrisy is intentional, it happens. There is a difference between what is said and promised in an election year and the reality of working within our political system. We get disappointed by the candidates we have placed so much hope in when they do not behave according to the letter of their promises. We act as if we have been betrayed and break off our relationship with them as soon as possible to shift our support to the next person who promises to believe exactly as we do.

We lose faith not just in our candidates, but also in the hopes we have for our lives and country that we placed in the basket that they carry. We lose our belief in change. We lose our trust in their representation.

This year we stand to lose even more. Religion and faith have become a tool for candidates to garner support. It could be because of their statement for a certain faith or against a certain faith. It could be because of their identifying themselves as representing a set of economic, social, foreign and domestic policies that are in keeping with the dominant religious beliefs in a small geographic area where they need votes. And the dominant religious beliefs may not be the majority beliefs of that area; they are the beliefs of the people who have a proven track record of turning out to vote.

Faith has become a tool of opportunity for politicians. Faith can be used to play to our emotions and cloud our desire to look at the totality of what a candidate represents by carefully evaluating their history. We have come to treat the electoral process not as a time when we evaluate the candidates as if we were hiring them for a job, but as a process in which we try to select a miracle worker based upon verbal promises.

After the votes are cast, we are left without our miracles and with an “employee” in place who has a specific agenda – to preserve their employment and advance in status by appealing to whatever is the current trend. We do not elect our presidents based upon their qualifications and abilities; we elect them based on their skill at making us believe that we can achieve our desires without effort.

The founding fathers of this country feared what would happen should one belief system become the dominant and enshrined governing rule of the country, just as they held a healthy fear of what would happen should the country become a Democracy. This is why the Constitution carefully lays out the construction of a Republic and strives to prevent, especially with religion, one set of beliefs from rising to control all else.

That is new thinking to people, that we are not a Democracy and were never intended to be one. At the same time, many people can give lip service to understanding that we are a Republic but few of them truly understand what is the difference between the two.

A Republic is based upon representation by elected legislators who have the power to create referendums that are presented to the public at large for a vote. A Democracy relies on initiatives originating from the public at large that are voted on and then passed to elected legislators to enact. The founding fathers had a healthy fear of what would happen should popularity, fashion and group think get a chance to determine the laws for all. They saw that this was the door to oppression and economic instability. There has been no pure Democracy in the history of mankind, the few governments who have attempted it have quickly devolved into Fascism, Anarchy or Dictatorship. A Republic, where the people are represented by legislators who try to balance the needs of their entire districts when creating referendums as well as negotiating with other districts/nations for a larger good, was seen as a more viable means of government that could preserve core freedoms.

We have come to believe that we are a Democracy and to try to push the concept of Democracy on other countries despite the fact that we have no experience in what it means to be a Democracy. Yet wearing the masque of Democracy feels good – it makes us feel like we are powerful, individual and in charge. Wearing the masque of a Republic does not feel so good because it involves recognition that we are not reliable enough to behave in a manner that will not oppress someone in order to preserve our own beliefs. Needless to say, because of this preferential masque of Democracy – now we do not have a country that is a Republic or a Democracy but a strange kind of…mess, part Fascist, part anarchy and wholly run by a dictatorship of corporate interest.

In today’s readings, we have a series of communications from God through the prophets, the disciples and Christ in which we are admonished that to become convinced that our own interpretations of the world are the only interpretations is to shut ourselves off from the entirety of life and escape our responsibilities. We will see a field of bones and not see that there is life still there to be welcomed; we will insulate ourselves and turn away from the world and not see that the world is necessary to our well-being; and we will think that there are people and situations that are hopeless and must be forgotten, missing that it is within responding to the most hopeless of situations that we find our hope again.

Consider your life.

How do you choose who to support in an election year? Do you choose them because they are the closest to representing the beliefs that you hold to be true? Or do you choose them because they hold beliefs that would best represent yours as they are in relation to the greater good of all?

Christ charged the world to love thy neighbor as thyself, and that is the only way to achieve peace, stability and security. We will not end hunger, we will not end poverty, we will not be free of oppression and violence until we choose to check ourselves, our beliefs and our choices against this commandment.

Will you place yourself before your neighbor or will you seek to find a way for both of you to move forward together? Will you vote for someone because they are your mirror? Or will you choose someone who stands for the greater good of all and has the history to prove it.

Invest your time wisely. I challenge you to take an hour a week and investigate the history of the candidates – not by going to their sites or reading news articles, but by visiting govtrack dot us. This site lists voting records and more without commentary or spin. I challenge you to take an hour a week to educate yourself on the reality of the candidates and what they truly represent. I challenge you to ignore the promises and commercials that are designed to appeal to your emotions and get your vote and to become an active citizen that chooses their representation based upon who is capable enough and consistent enough to consider all.

I challenge you to govern your choices according to the commandments of Christ.

I challenge you to make this the year that the United States returns to being a Republic,

One nation,

Indivisible,

With justice and freedom for all.

In the name of the Father,

Amen

c.2012 Cassandra Tribe/Grace Independent – All Rights Reserved

For a variety of reasons (that I didn’t realize were related until recently), I have been researching “home altars.” There are large varieties of home altars that are in use. Nearly every religion or belief system that requires a kind of daily practice (prayer, meditation, offerings and so on) encourages their believers to have an altar in their home. The idea is to bring the sacred close and make the practice of certain rituals a part of daily living and not reserved for special days or locations.

Many people have altars in their homes that they are not even aware that they have built. When we have a wall that we group our family photos on, or shelves were we keep our souvenirs – we have constructed altars to desire.

Now, I know that using the word “desire” is going to throw a few people but desire means much more than lust or sexual want. Desire is also used to describe the psychological state of wishing, longing and…missing. To miss someone is one of the most powerful desires a person can experience for it also embodies wishing and longing. While we may desire to gain spiritual awareness, contentment and peace and build our altars to hold our desire for these things – when our desire is based in missing someone we once had near – is can be as if the soul is weeping and we kneel before our altars and ask for whatever is out there to hear us, grant us our wish, answer our petition to return to us that which made our souls sing. The phrase “I miss you like sin,” is a way of acknowledging the strength of the passion involved. Sin, after all, tends to arise from passion. It is a …turn of a phrase. Some people prefer to say, “I miss you like air” to express how necessary the person is to the other’s existence. “Without you, I cannot breathe.”

Now, these types of phrases are powerful, evocative and quite true. They are not a version of co-dependency or anything like that. The absolute power of the desire of missing someone (a lover, a god, a friend) is something that has been acknowledged throughout history as a life changing experience. The power of the emotion can tear you apart or, rightly channeled, build you into a new being. Codependency just kind of sits there in a puddle. It has adopted many of the phrases of desire but it lacks the discipline of worship, practice and ritual. When I miss someone like air, I find myself seeking out small things that bring them closer to me – often they are not even related to the person except that when I am there – there is a feeling of closeness and connection.

For a few decades, more than a few, society has worked to dismiss the power and validity of passion, desire and love. We are taught it is a sick, sick thing to say, “You complete me.” But think about it…which is the healthier relationship? The one in which the presence of the other does not change much at all about the soul of the other? Or the one in which the presence acts like a key to release the soul into a new experience? Which would you rather have?

People are not interchangeable or replaceable unless you never really created a passionate existence between the two of you. If someone does not bring you a sense of a broader completion to your being than yes – anyone will do and when the going gets tough you will get going in a heartbeat. But when the other person’s presence is as necessary as air to this larger life, you will stay – you will suffer to grow to move past differences, you will love and worship and discover that everything you knew about those things was barely the kindergarten lesson.

Altars do not have to be complicated but often we go right ahead and dress them up as if they are off to a coronation ball. When I was imagining building an altar to help me focus with my meditation, I had an image in my head of a portable Vatican. It was all gilt and glamorous with candles, incense and all sorts of fabulous things. I even went to the store and found everything I would need to make my very own little Basilica.

But I didn’t buy any of it. I had it in my basket and it just felt wrong. So I put it back on the shelf and walked and walked around the store and just listened. I wound up picking up three bowls or various sizes and materials. The largest is brass, then I found a wooden bowl that nests perfectly in the brass bowl, and then I found a strange glass votive candle holder (in the shape of a bowl) that nests in the bottom of the wooden bowl. When they are placed together and the candle is lit, the glass comes alive; the wood is warm and brass bright and beautiful. Three circles nested inside each other with a flame at the heart. Three bowls that can hold anything. Three forms of life and consciousness. Three forms of existence.

Now if that doesn’t keep me busy while meditating for a while in the sheer contemplation of the Universe within this altar I have made, I don’t know what will.

I miss you like sin.

I miss you like air.

I miss you like a pulse.

I miss you and long to be there.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

So….I was giving myself a hard time recently because I haven’t been writing much poetry. This little rant was going on as I was working on putting together several broadcasts for Grace Independent. I was bitching and moaning and kvetching and generally making myself feel bad as I kept plugging away at the broadcast scripts.

It wasn’t until three days later (still working on the scripts) that it hit me. I have written over 200 pages of poetry for Grace Independent in the past year. That gave me pause and made me start to look at the other perceptions I was holding on to.

Perception is a funny thing. We tend to think that what we perceive is reality when it is anything but. Our perceptions are based in our expectations and experience. Just look at what happened during Iowa. Google Plus was a hoot to read. Depending on who was posting (and who they supported) their perception was always skewed to support their most rewarding belief. In the same way that I have noticed that on Facebook (and now on g+ since there are more people there now) that the people who post most often the passive aggressive status updates (that are never specifically directed at anyone) also are the people who share links about how horrible the world is, tragedies, and constant please to “copy and paste this as your status to show you care.”

Our perceptions not only create self-fulfilling prophecies, but they are revealed in every choice we make. I watched one person on G+ post, for 5 days straight, pictures of morbidly obese people with comments like “Too Funny!” or “No wonder!!” This same person then got off that kick and started posting in the defense of Ron Paul and the charges of racism, as part of the defense, the person pointed out how they did not have a prejudice bone in their body. They then got highly offended when others posted comments like, “oh really?” and “Could have fooled me.”

It would appear the person that we are most capable of deceiving is ourselves.

One of the things I am learning is that within the statements we make about what we are or are not lies the clue to our areas of self deception. Our identities and our perceptions of reality and intertwined as a kind of armor or masque that we wear, not to fool others, but to fool ourselves – to prevent our seeing our own reflection in a mirror. Instead, we choose to see the masque of how we would want to be.

One of the worst pieces of advice I have ever heard given to someone who is seeking to grow and change is the infamous “fake it till you make it.” Now, to force yourself to smile when you do not feel like it is one thing. There is a definite correlation between the muscle movement of a smile, people’s responses to a smiling person and an increased (slight) state of well being. But there is no correlation that faking an attitude, belief, opinion or motivation does anything but increase your sense of worthlessness.

Change and growth come through change and growth and a lot of the time it is a very difficult transformation process. But it is not an endless process. Letting go of the safety found in having preconceived perceptions and expectations can leave you feeling unmoored. But it is temporary, and worth it. Learning to meet life as it is allows you to make realistic and effective choices.

So I rewrite the message and realize, I have been incredibly busy writing poetry only – it is not important to me that the poems are out there under my name. They are written for a purpose outside and beyond my own life and I am starting to recognize just how much I have benefitted from this exercise.

I am really starting to like how this year is shaping up.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

Tonight at Midnight EST on http://blogtalkradio.com/grace-independent I am going to be an introduction to Contemplative Prayer. You can listen live, listen through your cell phone (347-326-9632), come back later and listen or download the show through the blogtalk player at the same link or, find the podcast on iTunes.

I recommend, before you listen, that you grab a candle, a little incense and create a quiet area where you can sit comfortably and be undisturbed while you listen and perform the exercise.

Contemplative prayer is a tradition in almost every belief system. From the Buddhists to the Christians to the Muslims to people with no belief in a Universal Power or God but who engage in meditative processes. Prayer, after all, is a form of meditation – just a more directed one than many other types.

Lectio Divina is a Latin term for the practice of using sacred texts for divine guidance. It is the core aspect of Contemplative Prayer. You read a passage (or several) slowly and when a word or phrase pops out and grabs your attention, you use that as a kind of “mantra” for the meditation. Repeat the word or phrase over and over in your mind as you sit still and slow your breathing. Allow the phrase to drive all other thoughts from your mind. During the course of a contemplative prayer session, there is usually a kind of revelation that occurs as to why that word or that phrase was so important to you now.

For people who have tried meditation but been unsuccessful in quieting their minds down to nothingness, contemplative prayer is a good way to begin. The directed nature of it, the intuitive response to the reading all help to make it an accessible form of meditation for all. More advanced practitioners enjoy it as it helps them to integrate an exploration of their spirituality and beliefs into their meditation practice.

Tune in and try it out. It is a great habit to start in the beginning of this New Year.

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

If you fall asleep at 6pm and wake up at midnight, does that count as a nap and can you still check off things on Monday’s to-do list or do you have to make them a part of Tuesdays? Assuming, of course, that you plan on going back to sleep by 4am.

There is something so mystical about the power of a to-do list. That reverential moment when you pause, pen in hand, over the paper and inhale the smell of accomplishment, self-esteem and success before plunging down and crossing an item off the list like you were eradicating the common cold from the world. Just about everyone I know admits to this habit. I think today I am going to cheat, although it may be just Tuesday where I am, I am going to rationalize and say it is still Monday somewhere so I get to keep crossing things off my Monday list until 3am my time, in which case it is Tuesday everywhere (unless I really want to stretch it and can look to Asia).

Paul Krugman, an op-ed columnist for the New York Times, published a piece January 1^st on the economy called, “Nobody Understands Debt.” You may have seen it or seen quotes from it as it is making its’ rounds on the Internet. The problem with the piece, like the problem I am trying to resolve with my over-napping instead of working, is that the basis for his stance comes from statistics that he has misconstrued or misrepresented. However, the tone of the article (implying that most Americans are economic idiots and only he possess understanding) and its source, the long revered New York Times make people less inclined to read with a critical eye and just accept what is written as truth.

Firstly, taking the tone that your readers are idiots is never advisable. Especially if you manage to have the wrong facts and numbers yourself. Secondly, while the NYTs enjoys a historical reputation of reliability, over the past ten years it has become notorious for fraudulent reporting, fact manipulation and out right lying.

I am not going to recap the article however I am going to reprint a discussion between myself and another person on google+ about it which says it all. (BTW, the original post was public)

Peter Bromberg  -  8:49 AM (edited)  -  Public

Yep! Here's Paul Krugman again - telling everybody they don't understand "debt"
"the allegedly urgent issue of reducing the budget deficit." "Governments don’t [have to pay back their debt]-- all they need to do is ensure that debt grows more slowly than their tax base."

Who doesn't understand debt, Paul? Our debt is NOT growing more slowly than the tax base. It hasn't in years. That's why we have a ballooning deficit!

Nobody Understands Debt

The obsession with deficit reduction is wrongheaded and ill-informed.

  -  Comment

+1

1 share  -

7 comments

Mike Trani   Robbing from Peter to pay Paul. A very old proverb.How much kool-aide did this guy imbibe?

8:54 AM   

cassandra tribe  -  is it just me, but the logic in that article just did not make sense at all? I read it twice and usually I can get something out of any article no matter what the opinion but this one was just...weird...not to mention his stats about Britain's debt to GDP are way off (he omitted that his stats are for Net debt only if you include the Royal Bank of Scotland, lloyds and other private financial institutions). In 2011 their debt percent barely broke 62%. I am really getting sick and tired of pompous people with the wrong facts who try to tell the rest of us we have no idea what is going on. Mr. Krugman, you might want to try the novel idea of rough draft - review - edit - fact check and rewrite -- it's what the rest of us poor. confused and ignorant people rely on to try and not muddy the waters more

9:02 AM  -  Edit    

+2

Dave Rozzana  -  Hate to say it, but whenever Krugman makes a statement it's just plain weird. As +cassandra tribe implies, he's just on a different planet....or just lazy.

9:48 AM    

cassandra tribe  -  +Dave Rozzana I have to admit, I stopped reading the NYTs about 10 years ago because the quality and reliability of their journalism and commentators has just become....so poor (to use a kind word).

9:54 AM  -  Edit   

Mike Trani  -  The problem with statements and articles like this is that the public believes all this tripe.

9:55 AM    

+1

Peter Bromberg  -  +cassandra tribe I gave up the Times years ago. I just read Krugman and a couple of others online in order to assure myself I made the right decision. Actually he's right that debt doesn't have to be repaid. But you still have to service it. And when the payments get too high, guess what?

10:10 AM (edited)    

cassandra tribe  -  Well, he is right and wrong about that...a) look what happened in Iceland and b) the perceived ability to be able to repay that debt determines the willingness of loaners, no matter that the realistic expectation is that it won't be repaid - and you are dead on about the servicing. Not to mention the whole complicated interplay of debt ratios to inflation to funding etc and ad nauseum. I think the general public believes this pap and nonsense because a) it is spoken from a place they expect authority and b) we don't teach people how to think critically anymore. When they go looking to educate themselves on the web, this is what comes up as an authoritative answer. His argument that for every dollar borrowed we have 82 cents loaned out is beyond ignorant. The only way you could use that kind of stat as a justification of stability would be if for every dollar we have borrowed we were loaning out $1.15. Ugh...

Collapse this comment

c.2012. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

I did so too wake up at 7am and think about going to Mass at 8. However, the mad kitten was purring madly, the coffee was perking and I hadn’t gotten to sleep until 3am so I opted for the 10am Mass. A little weaselly but the universe definitely has a way of getting you back.

I bundled myself off at a reasonable time and had a great time. Mind you, I was back in a church I had left and that would consider me a heretic because of what I do with Grace Independent but…overlooking our differences, it is entirely energizing to sit in a room full of people and sing. Plus I love the ritual and the meditative aspects of it. I am discovering that it is possible to maintain a balance between institution and belief. Not in the sense that one can ever make a corrupt institution acceptable, but that one can only benefit by acknowledging what remains good in the institution and allow it to help and support you while you work to completely undermine and replace it - :  )

Then we got to the end of the service and the pastor stood up, announced she was retiring in the spring and then said she needed people who were good on ladders to stay and help take down the garlands and the wreaths. I stayed. So did another fellow. Several other people did to but they were ground-bound, taking the decorations of the pews and guilting people into taking the poinsettias home. The fellow went to the basement to get the taller ladder and I wound up with the rickety special. I would not be surprised if it is as old as the church. As I carried it onto the altar, one of the old duffs said, “Ay watch that one, it’ll close up on you when you are on it.”

Great. I spent all fall sick, finally feel better and now I am going to crack my head open on an altar trying to be nice. But then an even older member of the choir called out “Just climb up on the altar and stand on it, no …you don’t have to remove the cloths.” And suddenly there was this panic. There were three other guys with me and we all looked at each other like “climb up on the altar? Stand on the altar cloth?” It is amazing how deeply the rules about the sanctity of church objects can run. I thought the guy next to me was going to bolt. His wife looked panicked. So I quick quick jumped on the ladder and then onto the altar.

Mind you, this church was built in the early 1900s, even though it technically existed long before that, the original building burnt down. Here I was, standing on the altar, the big one, the original all the way in the back from when they used to have their backs to the congregation and were so far away you couldn’t hear the service. I was face to face with a 3-foot high gilt cross and as I raised my eyes to the top of the 4-foot diameter wreaths to see how they were attached, I noticed that some bright bunny had tied a loop of fishing line around the woodwork above the altar. Year after year they have hung those wreaths with bent cost hangers on the same fishing line. I reached up, lifted the wreaths down and handed them to the guys who literally fled into the hallway with them.

Then we all went for coffee and it was the pastor’s birthday. So we sang. Ate and left.

Grace gets into trouble for several reasons. On the mild side is the insistence on the tenents of Christian Pacificism and the placing of priority on Christ’s two commandments over all else. We believe truly that Christianity is found within the four gospels – end of story. Everything else was written by people trying to organize a group. But the thing that gets me in the most trouble is the part where, in each of the services, I say that you do not have to profess a faith or be baptized to join the communion AND, you don’t need anything more than a cup of water and a piece of bread to participate. “For God so made the world with ease he can surely make of what we have a good and holy thing.”

Heretic.

A heretic on a ladder fishing down wreaths while standing on a consecrated altar.

But we were all there for the same reason. It is a mistake to believe that every member of the congregation believes the same things and in the same way. Every person there has their own private faith. It is the community, the sense of belonging and sharing that draws most people to join in a worship group. It does not matter whether that group is in a church, a mosque, a synagogue or a grove of trees – it is the gathering and sharing of community that makes the worship.

Without a doubt, this has been one of the finest New Year’s I have had in ages.

c.2012 ß----YAY!   Cassandra Tribe. All Rights reserved.

Sometimes I wonder how people come up with ideas for scientific research. Some of them are downright bizarre and pointless, and some, are actually quite good. I was reading about a study today that was looking at whether or not dogs could perceive kindness. What they did was put too people in a room at a table with a bowl of cereal and sausages between them. The dog was brought in and sat at a distance and watched as one person asked the other for some of the cereal. Sometimes the person would say “no!” immediately and sometimes they immediately offered the bowl to the other person. When the dog was permitted to approach the people, they would invariably go to the person who offered the food immediately.

What was said was unimportant, but the tone was very important. When only hand gestures were used, the dogs did not approach either person.

What all this proved was that dogs watch us and assess whether we are kind in nature or selfish. They make judgments about the generosity of our character based upon the tones of our voice. To date, the only other species known to do this are chimpanzees and some larger fish that approach smaller, cleaner fish for help.

“To show how good dogs are at studying humans, Marshall-Pescini and her colleagues had them observe how readily two actors shared small cereal and sausage bits with another person who came to beg them for some morsels. After the beggar had either been shooed away with a harsh gesture and a firm "No!" or received a tasty tidbit along with some words of kindness, the dogs were given the choice of approaching one or the other actor.

In two-thirds of all trials the dogs went straight for the generous person. This wasn't merely a preference for a friendlier voice: if the "beggar" wasn't present and the dogs couldn't work out who was most generous, they were no more likely to approach a kind-voiced actor than a harsh-voiced one.

Nevertheless it seemed to be the tone of voice that the dogs used to make their judgement, because when the actors used only gestures, the dogs had much more trouble picking out the generous guy. "We were surprised that the voice had more impact than the gestures," says Marshall-Pescini, arguing that much work so far has pointed to dogs being more talented observers than listeners.”

(Nora Schultz, Short Sharp Science)

It reminds me of another study I also read (I was procrastinating today) about an area in Africa where the trees were being decimated by giraffes over feeding. The trees responded to this by producing leaves with high levels of tannin, which made them taste bitter to the giraffes. Scientists discovered (how, I have no clue) that the trees had somehow communicated to each other via an exchange of gasses. I wonder though, which trees started it all.

It is interesting to me, as I read these things, to then drop back and read some of the plans of the Presidential Candidates that involve the environment or animals. Needless to say, the concept of their being a sentient being there would never cross their minds.

Then again, there is not much I really understand of late about what is going on especially with the Republican candidates beyond the simple fact that not one of them is on the up and up. Voting records don’t match rhetoric and none of it matches historical records of their speeches, books, actions and newsletters. Ron Paul fascinates me because the Democrats seem to view him as a dangerous, ultra-conservative Libertarian and the Republicans view him as a dangerous, ultra-liberal, left winger. God bless him, looking at his record he could very well be both. But it amazes me how there seems to be little hanging back and assessing someone’s nature by observing them with others. It amazes me that in this age of great, global internet communication – there is so much misinformation.

Somehow, we have lost the eloquence of trees.

Somehow, we have stopped looking for who is generous and kind and instead run to the first person with the treat.

New Year’s is tomorrow and I am oddly excited.

c.2011. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

So, not only have I been out of the news loop as of late, I have also been house bound for a while. Today was the first day I have been in downtown Providence in god knows how long. It was the first time I saw the Occupy Providence encampment. They are all over the news today as the City is considering their offer to break the camp if the City opens a day shelter for the homeless.

I was there to catch a bus. A long bus ride and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what was bothering me about the encampment. At first, it was the fact that it was obvious they were getting little help insofar as advice on how one prepares to camp outdoors when the weather turns cold. There were tarps on top of the tent, but none below. Simple, basic camping survival. The park was a mess because of the windstorm from the other night and the City had brought trucks in to help them clean up. All in all, OP has had a decent relationship with the City, they even moved the encampment for a bit so the City could get into the occupied park to winterize the underground sprinkler systems.

There have been issues, of course. Some violence, some drugs, some crime. But that does not so much reflect on the people who are a part of the Occupy movement as it does on natural social group dynamics in this culture. No matter why a group is gathered there will be some who will see it as something to take advantage of or use for their own gain.

The bigger issue was over the presence of the homeless. Burnside Park, where OP is set up, has been the local homeless refuge for decades. Suddenly there are expensive tents, free food, laptops, cell phones etc and so forth. A couple of thefts later and many people wanted the homeless banned from the park. That is a discussion that is plaguing most of the Occupy encampments. They are the 98%, don’t like the 1% that are wealthy but have no idea what to do with the 1% that has been out of the social loop for years. The movement is mostly focused on the idea of people who have lost jobs or are unable to get jobs that are sustaining; the presence of the homeless puts them face to face with a community that is so far down the scale of problems. A job would be nice, but so would food and shelter. The addiction and mental health issues many homeless develop because of their homelessness is something that many of the student occupiers are not equipped to deal with.

I read a great article (and wish I could remember the link) that interviewed several of the Occupy “leaders” and they talked quite openly about the difficulties of trying to resolve all the different approaches (political activism versus drumming and chanting) and trying to figure out where the homeless fit into all of this.  As I said, Occupy Providence has made the issue of a day shelter for the homeless a primary and single goal. I have a feeling they might achieve it. One single-minded goal is easier to achieve than 20 or 30 vague statements. That does make me proud of them.

On the bus ride back I figured out what was bothering me. It really has nothing to do with the Occupy people but instead with the reaction of the City and state to them.

Back in 2009, a group of homeless banded together and formed two tent cities. The tent cities were tucked under an overpass, out of the public way fare and the camps were very well organized. They created the camps because there are both not enough shelters to handle all of the homeless here and, many of the homeless do not wish to go to a shelter because they are dangerous and dehumanizing.

It took very little time for the City and state to come down hard on them to break the camps. The state Supreme Court ruled that camping is not allowed on City land and this ruling allowed for the swift eviction of the homeless.

One of the things that is tricky about the Occupy movement is that many are not aware that for some, those who are in the 99% in one arena are in the 1% in another. I have no doubt that the presence of the students in the tents had a great deal to do with the lack of swift action to break the camp. After all, a student in college is usually the product of parents that vote.

The homeless are seen as even lower than animals by most of the authority institutions (including the very ones who are created to “help” them). There was no fervor to provide them with food and blankets and first aid and Wi-Fi and phones and charging stations. They got some community assistance but they did it themselves. The tent cities were the ones who truly started to create a new society, not the Occupy encampment. People in the tent cities stepped out of the mainstream society and began to make their own way and they were absolutely stomped on. People in the Occupy movement climbed onto the back of the mainstream society and are receiving accolades in many forms.

Perhaps the difference is that the tent cities said, “We don’t need you” and occupy has said, “We need you to change.”

It has made me a little angry when I made the connection today. But then again, it is an example of what the problem is – my 1% may not be yours and yours may not be mine. But I do value my integrity and for that reason, I think more lessons can be learned from looking at the various homeless tent cities then the occupy encampments.

Occupy is evolving, into what I don’t think anyone knows. It will be interesting to see what happens in DC on the Occupy Washington Day. Will there be a single goal that all will come behind and achieve? Or will it devolve?

But I will say this; Occupy Providence deserves a pat on the back for calling for that day shelter as a condition for their leaving. I said it once and I will say it again, I am deeply proud of them.

c.2011. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

Blissfully, I have been out of the loop news-wise for a while, now I am slowly creeping back into it and it just leaves me in a constant state of sighing. The Ron Paul nonsense is enough to start me shaking my head like I have acquired a tic. Newt Gingrich is playing the field like he is related to the Kardashians. Mittsey is just hucking money at crap and Obama, well, I have always wondered why a party assumes that just because they have one candidate in office it means they have to automatically accept them as the defacto choice for candidate in the next election.

Anonymous has posted a survival guide for violent revolutions. Occupy Wall Street struggles to overcome their media and themselves. Housing prices are falling. The troops are coming home, oh wait…they are going back out again. The EU is failing, oh wait, they are redefining themselves as stronger than ever before. Tom Cruise has a hit movie (why?). And Hollywood decided to remake The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo before the original film is even out of the theaters.

In the middle of it all I came across a post on a social media service (which one, I don’t remember) that slammed Obama for being un-American because his family does not believe in giving gifts on Christmas. I had to read the post several times before I believed what I was seeing. The writer not only declared this practice un-American but unchristian. Lately my secret habit has been watching youtube clips of Kathy Griffin. She is rude, crude but very honest. A contemporary Joan Rivers. For some reason, watching her balances out my slow digestion of the foul, moldy food of the news.

And the horrible thing is that there is no news. Not any more. No matter what opinion professed, a “news” outlet will report in favor of it and include statistics manipulated to support the opinion. I came across a news sight today that was a sign of the times, their front page was honest to god reporting (slanted, but reporting none the less) but all the other articles listed as additional news items were not news items but sourced advertising or spin-doctoring. One of their major stories was on the unknown truths about the price of gasoline (written and published by the Exxon corporation – you had to look at the fine print on the article to see its source).

I did read an excellent review of the Republican primary process that pointed out that we have now moved into an electoral process that is entirely dependent upon performance in the reality show setting of a debate. There is little consideration of a candidate’s history or record of accomplishment; whatever happens in a forum of what is essentially entertainment is what people base their decisions on. It is why there is such a fuss about Ron Paul. He performs very well; in fact, he is outperforming the other candidates right now. His history and track record is abysmal, naïve and just plain depressing. But that doesn’t matter does it?

When showmanship is worth more than ability, you get what you deserve.

The question again is, what are realistic and pragmatic solutions to the problems we have and the problems that are getting ready to come down the pike? What are practical ways to keep hope alive for a better future so that people are motivated to seek solutions?

The first step is to imagine what a resolved life would look like – personally, locally, nationally and globally. It is only when we have a “big picture” in mind of what a completely healthy and self-sustaining society looks like that we can move towards creating it. Right now, we are trapped in an endless funnel of details about what it wrong. It is a self-perpetuating cycle.

It is almost New Years. A traditional time of new beginnings and new commitments to change. What will yours be?

c.2011. Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved.

Last year, I had a travel alarm clock with a built in thermometer that I obsessed over to make sure the cave stayed warm. Then, in the spring, the battery died and it would seem to be an impossible thing for me to remember to get one AAA battery to fire it up again. Impossible, but not really necessary as well which is, I think, half the reason I have not gone out and done it. You see, I discovered that I have another thermometer in the house that is much more reliable, the Mad Kitten.

I can tell the comfort level of the house by how she is sleeping. If it is chilly, she curls up. If it is cold, she tucks all her paws under her body. If it is just right, she sprawls in a manner that borders on the pornographic. I have never met a cat who can make sleeping look like such a luxurious hobby.

It has been a long but good day. I had to finally pry myself out of the cave and go work at a café because I was constantly succumbing to MK’s charms and just not getting anything done. Six hours later, I am significantly caught up with my work and with the magic of deep breathing, my heart rate never broke 84. Until I was walking home and snapped my favorite pipe and had to go get a new one. It was slightly embarrassing to be shown the “idiot proof” pipes that the owner of the shop thinks will actually be able to last longer than a month with me. Maybe if I can keep my stress down I will be less prone to breaking things.

It’s a funny thing how life goes in waves. In the past week or so I have been surrounded with chance encounters with people all concerned about the same thing – ridding themselves of the old tapes that play in their head. They can’t hear them, but they know they are there, acting like poison on their mind, body and soul. Everyone has a different plan for how to overcome these hidden messages. There are charts, graphs, worksheets – you name it. But is may be as simple as recognizing when one of them is playing (and I imagine a wall with speakers in it when I say this) and choosing to go around the wall instead of over or through it.

Sometimes we can get caught up in trying to see exactly what the bricks are made of, or trying to hear the words clearly – but sometimes, what is there is so….ancient, so unimportant – really just a lingering ghost that the specifics are not important. Like the phrase, “I am not what I have been; I am what I choose to be.” Focus should be kept on becoming who you want to be, achieving the life you want to have and at some point the past must be relegated to a history book. You will never lose it, but the power it extends over your present life is greatly reduced.

It would be wrong-minded to dismiss the experiences of the past completely, or as the saying goes, you are doomed to repeat it. The things that happen to us change us, but they don’t always have to change us for the worse. Yet, continuously placing a great importance on what has been gives it a kind of supernatural power over your life in the present.

It is windy and pouring rain here. A friend just sent me a link to the new AbFab special that just aired. I am tired and a little written out from the madness of the day. Tomorrow I get to do it again. But it feels good to know that as well.

The Mad Kitten is sprawled. It is late December and she has taken over my good winter jackets again. Tomorrow I schedule the New Year’s eve show for Grace Independent and start writing it.

It feels so good to have both feet planted firmly on the ground and my head returning to the clouds.

Onward and upward.

c.2011. Cassandra Tribe. Alrights reserved.

On Christmas Eve, I wound up at a church for a candle light service. It was beautiful. The sheer act of singing was a profound release physically. The sound of the bell, one of the last real bells in New England, was like a blast of purity within the soul. All of these strong songs, all the breathing required – these are all holistic techniques to soothe a person and they work wonders. It did not matter that the furnace was out and it was so cold in the Church you could see your breath. Even just being out of the house and with a group of strangers was uplifting.

There are times when the ritual, the community, the long held practice of release through song and sound supersedes anything you might rationally be thinking about religion, faith and organized churches. And I “got” why having something like this is important in my life. As important as having something like Grace Independent, my project that is antithetical to organized religion. I need both to create a balance. The naïve belief in what is, and the strong rational belief in what should be. Sometimes, in a full-scale rejection of what has been, we can miss understanding why they have existed for so long. Like staging a revolution to overthrow a government without understanding why the government exists – you can be left without direction, without purpose and without being able to be effective once you remove the institution that was targeted and all that does is leave the door open for something exactly like what was there before to come replace it.

Balance, after all, is not a state of stillness but a constant shifting between two (often-conflicting) things. They conflict, but only in their extremes and when pursued with fanaticism. The balance occurs when what is good from each can be used towards a goal. Maintaining balance is a state of action. Too often, we are taught that to be in balance we must choose to not act. Balance is the preface to change. The change lies in the new goal that is being created, a hybrid of the two extremes glued together with a separate understanding.

This weekend I was introduced to Biofeedback. Now, I have always sort of known what this is but not really. It is a process of monitoring certain aspects of your body (heart rate, temperature, brain waves etc.) to allow you to begin to be able to visually see when your body is under stress and reacting so you can learn to control it and walk yourself down. You can go to a professional for sessions or, you can use a mirror, a thermometer that you hold in your hand or a cheapy heart monitor. It has proven to be extremely effective in helping people control stress, pain, gastric disturbances, substance abuse, urinary incontinence and anxiety.

I opted for a heart monitor watch that I wear on my wrist so I can check my heart rate throughout the day. Within in hours of putting it on I was shocked to discover that I really have no idea when I start to be stressed out, but my heart does. It is letting me get to know myself better in a way. The heart never lies.

As you begin to learn what your body actually feels like when it is under stress (what I recognize as stress is much further down the path from where it begins) you practice controlling and relaxing the body until that process becomes intuitive.

It is odd to think how divorced we are from our own bodies. We view the mind as separate from the body as separate from the soul and they are all connected. We are integrated beings that have been taught to view ourselves as separate pieces.

Case in point, I would never have thought that writing a blog was physically stressful to me. I enjoy writing these posts and doing everything that goes into them. However, by the second paragraph, my heart rate had jumped from 83 to 111. That puts me into the range of someone who is subjecting their body to cardiovascular exercise. If I were to go from the blog to say, a stressful encounter with someone, my heart rate would keep rising or at least, remain in that stressed state that will then begin to have a mental and emotional toll. Who knew? I would not catch on to being in a stressed physical state until later this evening, when it begins to affect me through muscle tension. By that time, my body has been subjected to massive amounts of adrenaline and cortisol for a span of hours, and that can create numerous problems.

But does that mean that I stop writing? No, that would be one of the extremes. It means that I have to recognize it as a source of stress and change how I approach writing in order to maintain a calmer state.

This is the ultimate geek hobby. It is actually more nerdalicious then when I had to monitor by blood sugar all day. The ultimate goal with all this is to make the process of calming myself intuitive. That should only take 3-6 weeks of consistent monitoring and practice. In the process of all of this, it also changes how one thinks by changing the old tapes we play that we may no longer be aware of because they are intuitive. The biofeedback process forces you to interrupt the tape with a new message.

Odd to think that I am a stranger in my own house, so to speak. Yet it is exhilarating to discover that I do have power and control over my own self. There are not many places in which we receive that message and even fewer places in which we can see evidence of our own self-control.

I have a feeling this process will be life changing. I feel as if I have found a treasure map to a land I have been stumbling around in for years.

c.2011. Cassandra Tribe. All rights reserved.

Usually, around the time of Christmas et al, I blog either about the over commercialization of the holiday or about how to handle holiday grief. I rant and rail, console and counsel and mourn the simplicity of the holiday. This year, I have learned much about the importance of these holidays that goes beyond whether or not you believe in them, approve of them, celebrate them, are made sad or happy by them or even notice them.

The past four months have been very difficult for me (hence my absence from the blog) but they have also been a gift in many ways. The gift has not been easy to receive and by no means do I have it completely unwrapped or assembled yet, but I can see what it is and am endlessly excited by it. Because of what I know the gift to be, I have deliberately waited until Christmas Eve to reopen the blog again.

There is no doubt that the “meaning of Christmas” has been forgotten by most, subsumed by politics and consumerism (just witness the ridiculous violence over those new Nike shoes). There is no doubt that the endless focus on Christmas and the debate about the appropriateness of nativity scenes, trees and even the phrase “Merry Christmas” is offensive to people of different faiths, cultures and ideologies. It can be offensive, oppressive and discriminatory. For people who believe in Christmas, the same debates are threatening, insulting and demeaning. What a fine thing we have turned a celebration into as a society.

To say that Christmas is one of the most complicated publically acknowledged holidays is to make an understatement. The holiday is ingrained in our social fabric, like it or not.

But there in lies the true importance of Christmas within a society as diverse as Western culture has become.

Christmas is one of the few-shared milestones in a calendar year that we have with everyone around us in this society. It is a common marker. And this is important to establishing a common ground between us. Joe Shmoe that I may wind up chatting with in line will not connect to my personal timeline of basing everything off March 28 and I may not connect to the importance he places on his birthday, but we can establish ourselves within a common timeline by saying “That was during that blizzard about a week after Christmas.”

Having a common sense of time through history is important because it creates a bridge between two individual experiences and creates a common one. A common sense of experience encourages compassion and empathy. A shared point of time aligns people and draws them together. It is why parades are so important in towns, or big football games or local custom celebrations. These shared markers enhance a sense of community identity, a sense of belonging and a sense of shared responsibility for each other.

It’s why holidays such are this are such whiz-bang times for people showing up to feed the homeless and take care of others – because the shared day creates a feeling of connection and responsibility.

Whether or not the person interpretation of the day is shared, the communal one is even if only to underscore it as a day of giving or showing up for others. Even if all it does is give two strangers a starting point to put each other’s stories into context on a timeline.

How we frame our anniversaries is very important. The key to framing them is to understand that we can reframe the importance we place on days at any given point in time. This reframing is personal. But the anniversary may be universal.

Rather than focus on the difference in the importance we assign this day, perhaps it will make it easier for all if we seek to share in the fact that it is simply a day of universal importance. Then assign to it a reframed meaning that makes it your celebration. When you meet a stranger, you will find you both have shared the same day of celebration and from that connection – bridges may be built across any chasm.

c.2011 Cassandra Tribe. All rights reserved.